Even in kink, the world where, supposedly, each of us has our own preferences and all of us are right, I find myself drawn into the orthodoxy.
I was thinking about my limits. What they are and where they are.
I don’t do 24/7. Or anything involving urine. Or incest play of any kind including parent/child. I do roleplay wih great gusto, but I don’t do roleplay involving age play – people who are not physically mature, real or roleplayed, are beyond my limits. I don’t do nonmonogamy.
And I don’t do name-calling.
I struggled with that one. Oh, how I struggled to admit it. I tried to convince myself that it was just something that didn’t turn me on, but that I’d be content to do. When that didn’t work, I tried to convince myself that it was a soft limit. Something I disliked, but would do for my partner’s sake, if he didn’t go too far.
I tried to believe these things, because it is part of the orthodoxy of kink that submissives love to be verbally degraded, get turned on by being sworn at.
Other people may get turned on. I get flashbacks.
I don’t do name calling and I don’t want to. I don’t like humiliation. And I really don’t like being sworn at. And that’s okay.
And that doesn’t make me any less kinky. It doesn’t mean I’m doing it wrong. And it’s not an unreasonable thing to require of a top, that they watch their language around me and don’t insult me.
It means I’ve got a limit that many people do not share, including as far as I can tell most vanilla people. But that’s okay.

I’m going to keep telling myself that until I believe it.