I want a submissive pirate. Actually, I want a switch pirate, with the hat and the hair and the pretty clothes and the ship. I could have so much fun with a pretty switch and a ship. Ropes. And little dark spaces and yard-arms and masts. And silk scarves in the captain’s cabin. And cutlasses. I want a switch pirate. I want to overpower him and throw him in the brig and hang him from the rigging and hit him with wet rope-ends in the sun. And then I want to do it all over again the next day, only the other way around.

This fantasy brought to you by this comment thread over at Bitchy Jones’s Diary.

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