I had difficulty thinking of a serious post today, so I thought I’d just put a fantasy up. This blog has a whole category devoted to my fantasies, after all. I might as well use it. So I flicked through my Big Book of Fantasies, which is in my head, and picked out a nice simple one that wouldn’t be novel-length, and then I hit a problem.
I didn’t want to post this particular fantasy. It’s a favourite of mine. I enjoy it very much. I return to it often. But I didn’t want to put it up on this blog, because in this fantasy I am in the submissive role.
Now, this is very silly. I have openly identified as a switch on this blog. You can read it here and here and here. But all the fantasies I have thus far posted have been from a dominant point of view, quite by chance. Most of them were sparked by reading femdom blogs, so naturally that was the direction they took. I never decided to pose as a femdom.
So why do I feel reluctant to post a submissive fantasy? You know I switch. I know you know I switch. Why this reticence to be seen acting like a switch?
I have a belief that switches are not respected in kinky spaces. We are neither one thing nor the other. We are confusing and can’t be neatly classified and it’s difficult to fit us into your fantasies of The World Is Like That. I think that’s why switches get ignored and insulted: if you want to believe that Men are Superior or Women Are Superior we don’t fit. We can be ignored, though, if we stick to one role in public like decent people.
This is a thing I believe about kink culture: it is considered impolite, even indecent, to switch in front of people, and especially in front of people you have played with. You can be a switch, as long as you keep it under wraps and let people keep you in their Dom or Sub mental categories. Being dominant in the sight of someone you’ve submitted to is rebellion after the fact, and being submissive in front of people you’ve dominated is a betrayal of their trust in your superiority.
And thus I come to feel that posting a submissive fantasy on a blog where I state upfront that I am a switch will result in my no longer being taken seriously. It will taint the dominant fantasies with unreality, and it will be proof that I am not ‘really’ a dominant person, I’m a sub who’s playacting. Or something equally daft.